But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I just sharted jello shots
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
