some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
