It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
