i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize