Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
