let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
