The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I looked at my own cervix.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize