This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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