I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
