he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
