Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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