I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
