I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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