Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize