he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
