I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
