I puked a lego.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
dude. I can hear the air.
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