Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
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