Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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