My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
