WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i think i have two assholes
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
