My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
