Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
