the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
