i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
