We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
