Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
