She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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