I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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