you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
