My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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