If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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