I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
