I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
