Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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