What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
