i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
