All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
