every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
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