Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
