At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
