the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
