just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you didnt know i had herpes?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
