Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
