Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
