Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
