At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
