Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
