I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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