i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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