I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
