Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
