First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize