It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
