I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
