Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
