I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
