Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
