this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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