Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
